8. Low Blow

Image Credit

An 18-year-old named Michael from Port Saint Lucie (what’s up with that place?) shot himself in the crotch with a newly-purchased handgun. The bullet ripped through his junk and lodged in his thigh. He later told police that he was shot by someone else while walking down the street. He later admitted that he accidently shot himself while cleaning the gun at a friend’s house. There’s no word on his prognosis, but judging from the remarkable successes with similar situations in the past (think John Wayne Bobbitt), he’ll probably come through this embarrassed but functional.